I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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