why didn't you poke me back
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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