We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
