I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
