better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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