Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
