You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
