Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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