morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
