Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Randomize
