it wasn't lemon gatorade
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
