Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Randomize
