me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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