My pussy is not your playground.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
