we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
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