so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
