We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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