I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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