so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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