i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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