I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
