On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
