You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
