I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
We talked him into tasing himself.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
don't judge my taste in strippers
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
