Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
