whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
