he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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