also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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