ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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