I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Randomize
