If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
