When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
