i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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