He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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