Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Randomize
