Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
