apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
