there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
