Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
