No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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