I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
