Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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