Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
