check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
