In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
