Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
