Can i not drive my cunt home
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
