Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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