The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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