After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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