I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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